(updated when new translations are submitted below)

There’s a lot of weird stuff on the internet. Today I learned:

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Afrikaans:

• “Slang op ‘n Vliegtuig“

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Albanian (Geg dialect):

• “Gjarpën në për Avion“

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Albanian (Tosk dialect):

• “Gjarpërinj në një Avion“

How to say “snakes on a plane” in American Sign Language:

• 
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How to say “snakes on a plane” in Arabic:

• “Tha’abin ‘ala Ta’ira“
• “Hayaat fi Taairah“

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Bulgarian:

• “Змии в един самолет”
• “Zmii v edin Samolet”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Catalan:

• “Serps a un Avió”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Czech:

• “Hadi v Letadle”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Danish:

• “Slanger ombord pa et Fly”
• “Slanger på et Fly”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Dutch:

• “Slangen in het Vliegtuig”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Elvish:

• “Lyg no’ da Tal”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Esperanto:

• “Serpentoj en Aeroplano”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Estonian:

• “Usse Lennukis”
• “Ussid Lennukis”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Farsi:

• “Maar tooeh Havapeima”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Finish:

• “Käärmeitä Lentokoneessa”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in French:

• “Serpents sur un Avion”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Georgian:

• “Gvelebi Tvitmprinavze”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in German:

• “Schlangen im Flieger”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Greek:

• “Φίδια στο αεροπλάνο”
• “FI-thia sto a-eh-ro-PLAH-no
• “Φίδια πάνω στο αεροπλάνο”
• “FI-thia PA-no sto a-eh-ro-PLAH-no”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Gujarati:

• “Plane maa sapo che”
• “Plane par sapo che”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Hebrew:

• “Nachashim al Aviron”
• “Nachashim bamatos”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Hindi:

• “Jehaaz meh Saamp”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Hungarian:

• “Kígyók a Repülön“

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Indonesian:

• “Ular-ular di dalam sebuah pesawat terbang“
• “Ular-ular di dalam sebuah pesawat udara“

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Irish Gaelic:

• “Nathracha in Eitleán”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Icelandic:

• “Snákar í Flugvélinni”
• “Snákar um borð í Flugvélinni”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Italian:

• “Serpenti su un Aereo”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Japanese:

• “Hikouki ni iru Hebi-tachi”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Klingon:

• “Ghargh Duj”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Kikuyu:

• “Nyoka Ndegeini”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Kiswahili:

• “Nyoka ndani ya Ndege”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Korean:

• “! Bi heng ki ae bem!”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Latin:

• “Serpentes in Aeroplano”
• “Serpentes in Aeroplano Epibatico”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Luxembourgish:

• “Schlaangen am Fliiger”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Malayalam:

• “Vimanathil Pambu”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Mandarin:

• “shh-uh tzsai fay gee shang”
• “she2 zai4 fei1ji1 shang4”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Nepali:

• “Saapharu havai Jahajma”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Norwegian:

• “Slanger på et Fly”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Old English:

• “Naedras in Lyftnaccam”
• “Snacan in Lyftnaccam”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Pig Latin:

• “Akesnay noay anay Aneplay”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Polish:

• “Węże w Samolocie”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Portuguese:

• “Cobras num Avião”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Russian:

• “Zmeya na Samolyotye”
• “змеи на самолете”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Serbian (Srpski):

• “Zmije u Avionu”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Slovenian:

• “Kače na Letalu”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Spanish:

• “Serpientes en un Avión”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Swedish:

• “Ormar i Flygplan”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Tagalog/Filipino:

• “Mga ahas sa Eroplano”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Taiwanese:

• “Zwah di Hweilinggiding”
• “Chôa tī Hoe-leng-ki-téng”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Thai:

• “งูบนเครื่องบิน”
• “ngoo bon kreuang bin”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Turkish:

• “Uçaktaki Yılanlar”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Urdu:

• “Jahaz par Saamp”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Vietnamese:

• “Con rắn trên máy bay”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Welsh:

• “Nadroedd yn yr Awyren”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Yiddish:

• “Schlang oif a Plan”

How to say “snakes on a plane” in Zulu:

• “Izinyoka Eziseqwelamoya”

I’m getting into this now, does anybody have more?

(Thanks to everyone who submitted a translation, the list is getting too lengthy but read the comments and you’ll see almost all the submitters.)

First, unsurprisingly, Samuel L. Jackson has an official webpage. It has an interview on it from August which I haven’t seen before:

SamuelLJackson.com:
You also are just wrapping up on “Snakes on a Plane” Tell us a little bit about it.

Samuel L. Jackson:
Snakes on a Plane – it’s exactly what it sounds like. They changed the name to “Pacific Flight 121” But there seems to be a clamor for it to go back to “Snakes on a Plane” and I’m part of the “Snakes on a Plane” group that’s one of the reasons I took the job. I either want to see that movie or I don’t. Because that’s what it is. I’m an F.B.I. agent transporting a witness from Hawaii to Los Angeles. Who saw this big mobster who we have been trying to catch for years, murder somebody. And the guy puts a crate load of snakes on the plane that release when we are in the middle of the ocean, so we have to go on and these 3-400 snakes are getting loose on the plane – all over. And they are killing passengers. We’re trying to blockade and keep them in one place and they get through that place.

SamuelLJackson.com:
How many snakes did you say? 400?

Samuel L. Jackson:
Yeah 400. a one point the air bags deploy and snakes and the airbags come down and they are biting people in the face. It’s real crazy.

Snakes coming down in place of air masks and biting people in the face! That sounds GREAT! Ok, next, two quick MySpace pages:

• SnakesOnAMuthaFuckinPlane - A MySpace page dedicated to the movie.
• SnakesOnAPlaneMusic - A MySpace page for a band calling themselves Snakes on a Plane.

All previous Movie News.
All previous Fan Sites.

There are currently 27 Snakes on a Plane YTMNDs. They suffer from all the general problems of YTMND, so you may not want to really delve into this list too deeply. I found SNAKES ON A PLANE ‘87 and MCDONALDS & SNAKES ON A PLANE amusing. Anyway, here they are:

• Snakes on My Plane!
• Snakes on a Plane
• Theres snakes on that plane
• Oh my god… A plane… With snakes on it?
• WHY ARE THERE SNAKES ON A PLANE?!
• Snakes on an Old Timey Plane
• Oh sh*t!!! Snakes are on a plane
• SNAKES ON A PLANE ‘87
• Snakes on a plane
• Breaking News: Snakes on a Plane!
• Snakes on a Transformer Plane
• Snakes on a Plane!
• Snakes on a Plane On The News
• Snakes. On a plane.
• SNAKES (On a Plane)
• Get off my plane, snakes!
• Oh, SNap! Snakes on a Plane!
• Snakes on a Plane: The Trailer
• SNAKES ON A MUTHA f*ckIN’ PLANE CRASH
• Attacked by Snakes (on a plane)
• MCDONALDS & SNAKES ON A PLANE
• snakes on a plane
• Snakes on a Plane
• Snakes on a plane, the song!
• Major Snakes on a Plane Update
• Snakes On a Plane
• SNAKES ON A PLANE
• Sammy L. Delivers

Update, 2/12/06. Two new YTMNDs:

• Snakes on a Star Wars
• Snakes on Airplane

All previous Fan Sites.

Ok, I’ve stumbled across a few interesting new pieces about Snakes on a Plane. Here’s a roundup:

• The Toronto Star had an excellent piece yesterday which fully understand the worth of the movie: “with Snakes on a Plane, what you think you’re going to get is exactly what get: A planeload of snakes. And who doesn’t love that?” Not only that, but they went on to mention you’re very own Snakes on a Blog as well as a couple other resources. They even produced their own fan script to give back to the online community: “Pilot: Repeat. We have snakes on the plane. 11-3. Over. Repeat. Plane full of snakes. (static) … Vector 10-3.7X. Snakes. Everywhere. Over. Repeat. Argggggg …“
• The George Washington University Hatchet had a piece about discovering the movie: “Every so often something comes along that shatters the conventional paradigms and alters the landscape around it to something unrecognizable. I have discovered that next revolution. It’s a new movie that I haven’t even seen yet due out in August entitled ‘Snakes on a Plane.’”
  
• Zap2it had a story I neglected from mid-August with some good quotes from Samuel L. Jackson on the plot: “‘I’m an FBI agent transporting a witness from Hawaii to Los Angeles. The kid has witnessed a murder by a gangster who personally killed somebody — stupid gangster — and the kid saw it,’ says Jackson. ‘In the middle of the ocean, this crate time releases and there’s 500 poisonous snakes in there and they scatter out all over the plane. We can’t go back and we’ve got to go forward. So it’s us battling snakes to LA.’ He pauses for emphasis and then reiterates, ‘Fighting snakes to LA.’“
• Wired had a story in the January edition that’s gotten a lot of attention in other places. The author didn’t seem to understand that Snakes on a Plane is anything but a bad title: “Not even the best marketing team can save a movie from a stupid name. Take New Line’s Snakes on a Plane. It doesn’t come out until August, but it’s already a laughingstock.” That’s ok, my competitor/compatriot at Snakes on a Blog set him straight: “‘Snakes on a Plane’ is not ‘bad’. It’s not even ’so bad it’s good’. It is ’so good that it remains good’ which isn’t even a cliché. ‘Snakes on a Plane’ has the poetic simple beauty of the finest minimalist art.“
• Finally Variety had a nice piece in December: “When it comes to titling films, Hollywood studios sometimes settle for the bland (’Prime’), the bizarre (’Zathura’) and the incomprehensible (’XXX: State of the Union’). Not so with ‘Snakes on a Plane.’“
  

Phew, that was a lot. Well, enjoy them.

I got two weird emails pointing me to two weird sites:

• Jack Yan - this guy appears to be heavily concerned with self/cross-promotion, but he writes in his blog that his magazine, Lucire, will be featured in the in-flight seat pockets in the film.  Will Samuel L. Jackson use this magazine to beat back snakes?  Probably not, but it’s a unique piece of news for you.
• Lethalville - Ok, I admit I don’t understand this one.  It’s a site that has nothing to do with Snakes on a Plane, but there’s a picture of snake on a plane in the temporary graphic.  The email which pointed me to the site talks about underground hip-hop and large rap-battles.   I don’t know anything about that, but there is indeed a snake on a plane  on the site’s graphic.

All previous Fan Sites.  All previous Movie News.

A few more links to interesting Snakes on a Plane related sites around the web:

• Low Brow Culture - A blog pointing out that Sheldon Turner, writer of Snakes on a Plane, has another project coming out called The Breathtaker where “[a] small-town police chief pursues a serial killer who strikes only during tornadoes, brutally killing his victims in the eye of the storm.” Clearly our author has a penchant for pushing the edge of plausability.
• Wired and Hired - An amusing blog explaining how to write a good resume using examples from Snakes on a Plane. “List your positions chronologically and include powerful, bulleted accomplishments. Use action verbs. ‘Developed account strategy for the entire department’ or ‘Slithered past Samuel L. Jackson into the cockpit.’“
• Snakes on a Plane magazine - It has nothing whatsoever to do with the movie. It’s a short magazine of some sort that you can download and print on your own.
• Afterlife_Logs - It also has nothing to do with the movie. A creepy livejournal that couples apparently use for vaguely cybersex purposes. In this particular case, we’re watching one segment of the saga of Mr. and Mrs. Smith entitled Snakes on a Plane. Weird.

All previous Fan Websites.

Now, alas, I’m not the only person who has dedicated a webpage to Snakes on a Plane. Competition will be stiff, but my goal of attending the premiere forces me to persevere. While I’m persevering, enjoy these websites made by some of the other snake lovers:

• KendallBall.net - a collection of links, though the owner wants to be THE Snakes on a Plane site.
• YTMND.com - those of you familiar with the elegant simplicity of YTMND.com will not be surprised by this site.
• SnakesOnAPlane.org - a simple, language independent, statement of fact
• Snakes On A Blog - a LiveJournal blog started long before mine with the same name… maybe I should have checked on that before I bought Snakes On A Blog.com. Oh well, mine has a better snake graphic.
• Wikipedia - the informational Wikipedia site.
• Chud - Michael Bay discusses the plot of the movie (really, this is really Michael Bay, no doubt, not somebody pretending to be him. It’s totally obvious that it’s him.)
• SteveO - A fan written script excerpt.
• IMDB - The IMDB message boards for Snakes on a Plane. There’s a lot of good comedy here.

Ok, still working on real content. It’s coming, I swear. I swear! This pretty much ends my canned, pre-made internet content. From here on out it’s new stuff, or no stuff.

Since the saga of Snakes on a Plane has been circulating on the Internet for some time before I started this blog, I’m going to take the next few days to catch everyone up on the story thus far. Early attention to the film came from a blog posting by screenwriter Josh Friendman discussing how he almost worked on an early version of the script and how he was making a zen ‘koan’ out of the title. He also discussed why the title was so brilliant, which I quoted earlier:

I ask Agent the name of the project, what it’s about, etc. He says: Snakes on a Plane. Holy shit, I’m thinking. It’s a title. It’s a concept. It’s a poster and a logline and whatever else you need it to be. It’s perfect. Perfect. It’s the Everlasting Gobstopper of movie titles.

If you’re not sure why I’ve become keenly interested in attending the premiere of this movie, go read his original blog to get an idea of how exciting this whole experience can be.