Woman: Hey, when’s that movie Snakes on a Plane ever gonna come out?
Old man: What? What’s that?
Woman: Maybe it’s just a joke. Like the “L” in Samuel “el” Jackson’s name. I think that’s a joke too, like, what is he? Samuel “the” Jackson?
Old man: Who’s that?
Woman: Just eat your hot dog, dad.
From Overheard in New York. (Thanks Bethany)
I’m a little bit piqued that the official site beat me to this posting at Charm School that goes into a LENGHTY analysis of the themes inherent in the title. Here’s a taste:
A JUNGIAN VIEW -
Imagine the story as a dream. The plane (a vessel of our direction and travels as a culture), is soaring at high altitudes (lofty ideals and, additionally or alternatively, our consuming desire for rapid success). The snakes Grendel about (monster figures are shadow figures, unintegrated parts of the self) the cabin, terrifying the passengers (citizenry). FBI agents (investigators probing the shadow - ideally, they are truth seekers) Samuel Jackson (hero, also the Law) and his partner (one white, one black - mythically this pairing is potent as a coupling of opposites. One might read in a peculiar function of race here, but there I won’t delve. Read Toni Morrison’s essay, Playing in the Dark, for a literary analysis. Draw your own conclusions.), escort incognito (more shadow and unrule, though he’s an innocent) witness (truth teller - here’s another duality, concealed truth - only the shadow knows), whose presence on board summons the snakes. The FBI pair are the best hope for resolution, to avert the “fall” ( avoid the ‘fatal retribution’ of hubris), or anomie (break down in social order, as well as personal unrest)
This is just a short excerpt, you’ll be reading for an hour if you really dedicate yourself to it. Enjoy.
I haven’t yet seen anyone with the audacity to get a Snakes on a Plane tattoo (although I’m sure it’s coming). Perhaps this guy over at the Snakes on a LiveJournal Blog will be the first. A friend of his has started taking donations… once they hit $250 he’ll get the tattoo.  At least that’s what they say, I don’t know these guys and I can’t vouch for their honesty.
But, if you’re interested in seeing someone other than yourself get the first Snakes on a Plane Tattoo, this could be your chance to help.
This blog posting from Maki has been sitting in my bookmarks for a month waiting for me to get around to posting it online, but I liked the idea, so I’m finally getting around to it. It’s a list of PROs and CONs about why Samuel L. Jackson should be awarded an Oscar for his performance in the movie. Here’s a taste:
Pro:
Samuel L. Jackson was completely robbed in 1994 for Pulp Fiction. That may be the most memorable performance of the ’90s and Martin Landau goes home with the Oscar? Please. The man is due some retribution for that crime.Con:
Formula 51, The Man, Star Wars Episodes 1, 2, 3,**** xXx, Twisted… Need I go on? There’s not much he’s had since probably Jackie Brown that’s worth recognizing. The man will do anything for a paycheck these days, it seems. At least he had one of the best scenes ever committed to film in Deep Blue Sea, which I won’t ruin for all four of you who haven’t seen it, but I’ll just say that it absolutely makes the movie. The movie goes from a 1-star movie to 3-stars on my scale just from that one scene alone. I’m not even joking.
It’s worth a quick read, enjoy.
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The other Snakes on a Blog points out that pehaps opening night for Snakes on a Plane should be a little bit Rocky Horror-esque. Phog suggests that everybody buy dozens of rubber/plastic snakes and fling them into the air in the theater at the appropriate moment. It might get you tossed from the screening, but it would definitely make me laugh.
Get your orders in now:
7.5″-9″ snakes… $4.95 for 48 at Oriental Trading Company:
OTC Snakes14″ snakes… $7.20 for 48 at AMC Wholesale:
AMC Snakes
Just don’t hurt anyone… Snakes on a Plane is about Snakes on a Plane, not Blood in a Theater (although that might not be a terrible sequel now that I think of it).
We’re All Mad Here - Mr. Mahfradenot brings us this little piece of Snakes on a Plane / Bible crossover fan fiction:
[INTERIOR SHOT: Dark wooden cabin, lit by flickering oil lamps. A man and his two sons stand in the middle, with random animals milling about behind them.]
MAN: All right, everything went off without a hitch. We got at least two of all the animals on here, right?
SON 1: Absolutely! I got all of the mammals rounded up…
SON 2: …and I took care of the reptiles!
MAN: (looking shocked) Reptiles? You tellin’ me there are snakes on this ark?
[FADE OUT as rattling and hissing begins to be heard in the background.]
ANNOUNCER: Samuel L. Jackson IS Noah IN Snakes on an Ark! With Ben Stein as the voice of God.
GOD: Noah? Noah?
[Cut to OUTSIDE, on the top deck of the Ark. In the driving rain, Noah is shaking SON 2 by the shoulders. The Ark is tossed as lightning flashes in the background.]
NOAH: What part of forty days and forty nights did you not understand? When God said “every living thing,” he didn’t mean the SNAKES! (Thunder crashes) Remember the Garden of Eden? Remember what happened there?!
[Lightning flashes and the screen goes black. CUT TO "Snakes on an Ark" logo. Announcer blathers some stuff about ratings and whatnot. The money rolls in.]
Man, we need more Bible stories like this.
McSweeney’s is a webpage for people with a level of intelligence higher than my own. If you’re smarter than me, you probably already read it religiously. It can be quite the wit (I’m partial to Pirate Riddles for Sophisticates, but that’s a topic for another blog). Anyway, today they have a post up entitled Possible Surprise Endings to Snakes on a Plane. Here’s a taste:
Scenario Two
After single-handedly killing all snakes on board and landing the plane, Jackson steps onto the tarmac and removes his trench coat only to reveal that he is, in fact, made entirely out of snakes.
Check out the rest, it’s a pretty good read.
Snakes on Stuff is a webpage that should be very close to all of our Snakes on a Plane loving hearts. The site moves beyond planes and asks the question: what other things could we put snakes on? Some obvious answers are Snakes on a Burger, Snakes on a Sign and Snakes on a Baby.
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I’ve come across two different, independant Snakes on a Plane fan fiction sites today. Who knew?
The first is Snakes in a Fic, a newly formed LiveJournal community dedicated to Snakes on a Plane fan fiction. But, not just fiction about Snakes on a Plane, but fan fiction about Snakes on a Plane AND another TV show or movie. Currently there’s two submissions: Snakes and the City (Sex and the City) and Snakes on Serenity (Firefly).
Here’s a quick excertp from Snakes on Serenity:
Simon let go of his sister’s arm and swallowed hard. He didn’t like snakes, even the mention of them made him feel nervous.
“There..there ain - aren’t any snakes on Serenity, River. We’re far far away from any possible snakes.”
“Jayne.”
“Well, yes, he’s a kind of a snake, but the human kind and I’ll make sure that he never hurts my beautiful little sister,”
The other one is, unfortunately, Snakes ON a Fic. Not really much difference in the names there. Again it’s a LiveJournal community dedicated to Snakes on a Plane fan fiction, but this one is centered on stories that happen on the actual plane. For example, the short story dealing with the last minutes of the life of the cat in the trailer entitled Fluffkins’ No Good, Horrible, Very Rotten [Last] Day:
When I saw the creature, I was to the point of desperation where anyone would have sufficed. Anyone. And that was my downfall. My fatal weakness. I thought I could trust him. His voice was so smooth. So calming. So tender, even. He offered me a way out, said he knew a way to leave my confinement and be free once again! Freedom! The word was like catnip to my senses, like buttery cream to my tongue. Oh, how I craved freedom from my cage. He told me that he would show me the way out, but that first I had to let him in. Oh, that forked tongue, how it lied!
Wow.
All previous Fan Sites.
Over at the RPGnet Forums someone named Deacon Blues has posted “SNAKES ON A PLANE - The Roleplaying Game of Personal Discovery, Dire Combat, and Motherf&*%ing Snakes.” Here’s a bit from the instructions to the “SnakeMaster” running the game:
As the Snakemaster, it’s your duty to keep the characters moving. There will be a great temptation by the players to keep the characters in their seats. Since dialogue doesn’t incur the risk of snake attacks, they may just sit there screaming, “Oh god, we’re going to die” or “Can’t somebody do something?” or “Get these motherfucking snakes off this motherfucking plane!”
Do not allow this to happen! You must constantly confront the players with events that challenge their characters’ Stories. Get them out of the seats. They should be running up and down the aisles, screaming and fighting and carrying on. Throw things at them to force them to act. Every action they take brings with it the risk of snake attack, and snake attacks drive the narrative.
Who’s up for a game?
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A member of the newly named Snakes on a Plane Hockey hockey team emailed me to let me know that they have a webpage at SoapHockey.com. They were formerly known as the Cobras (boring) and they play in St. Louis but, sadly, they lost their first game to the similarly oddly named “Clown Punch.” Oh well.
Here’s their header:
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nootropic undertook an idea that was suggested to me by a friend a few months ago, calling up airlines and finding out what their official policy about Snakes on a Plane is. Unfortunately, there’s no audio clips. From his intro:
In short, no airline will allow me to bring a snake (or many snakes) on board, but their responses varied from humorless (Northwest, American), clueless (United), to downright funny (JetBlue).
Enjoy.
I stumbled across this a few days ago and found it amusing. The Chiditarod is urban Chicago’s version of the Iditarod where five people group-steer a shopping cart around the streets of Chicago in some sort of charity-based race. Anyway, one of the teams took the unlikely moniker “Snakes on a Plane,” here are two pictures of them:
Update 3/27/06: I got in touch with one of the drivers of the cart and have a few new pictures for you:
Go team Snakes on a Plane!
Absolute Punk has a good interview (warning: some spoilers) with a Production Assistant who worked on one day of filming on Snakes on a Plane. Yes, one whole day. Not only that, but it was day that didn’t involve any snakes, didn’t involve any airplanes, and focused on a white guy on a motorcycle, and some Korean gangsters. I know, it sounds like a totally different movie.
The full interview has some plot spoilers beyond what I’ve just said, so if you’re looking to keep yourself out of the loop, you should skip this story. Here’s a few non-spoiler quotes to give you an idea of the content:
What can you tell us about the movie?
Well, i was actually around for a good part of the filming that day and i can give you the inside scoop on the scenes that were filmed that dayFantastic!
Okay, basically what was filmed was this: one of the main actors rode around on a dirt bike for a bit…
I see. I see.
Sadly there were no snakes on the day i was there. But my father who worked in lighting on the project worked on the plane WITH the snakes. So he saw some definite snake and Sammy J action.…
elemenohpe asks: How many Keenan & Kel / All That jokes were made on the set?
Well, another PA i worked with told me that Kenan was joking around quite a bit but I’m not sure there was any mention of Kel. I think Kenan is more interested with current endeavours than he is with his past with KelDroppedUrPocket asks: Did Samuel L Jackson get with all the white bitches on the set?
I assume he got with many bitches of varying ethnicities.
All previous Movie News.
Independant of my efforts, a loyal reader has put together a petition requesting that I be invited/allowed to attend the premiere. Here’s the text of the appeal:
To: New Line Cinema
It has become apparent that the amount of work and effort put into the website www.snakesonablog.com has resulted in the soon to be released film “Snakes on Plane” receiving massive amounts of publicity months before its actual premiere.
The owner webmaster of the site www.snakesonablog.com, without asking for any financial contributions and of his own free will, has turned the film ‘Snakes on a Plane’ not just an Internet meme, but indeed into a worldwide cultural awakening. This movement has united people of different faiths, colors, creeds, sexuality, nationality and so forth, into ONE united goal: The magnificence that is ‘Snakes on a Plane’
Therefore, we, the undersigned, respectfully petition:
* Hannah Rachel Production Services Ltd.
* Mutual Film Corporation
* New Line Cinema
* Patchwork Productionsand director David R Ellis, to invite the owner/webmaster (same person) of www.snakesonablog.com to attend the Hollywood Premiere of the motion picture ‘Snakes on a Plane’ as a reward for all his tireless effort to transform what could have been a fun B movie into a world wide cultural movement.
Thank you
Sincerely,
You can sign the petition here, if you’re interested. I’m not sure that more signatures necessarily equals more chances of attending the premiere, but it certainly doesn’t hurt.
Again, I just want to say that I didn’t put it together so address any questions about the petition itself to reader Snakes in Europe.
UPDATE 8/7/06: Petition successful!
Fark ignored my request to do something similar weeks ago, but they’ve finally gotten around to doing a Snakes on a Plane themed photoshop contest. The specific theme is “If all films were produced by the poeple that created the movie ‘Snakes on a Plane.’”
It’s pretty amusing, check it out. I might compile a “best of” collection later.
Update, 11:48pm: Here are a few of the submissions that seemed most connected to Snakes on a Plane:
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A few days ago I wrote about the first poem to incorporate Snakes on a Plane, which inspired a few people to write their own short poems. I enjoyed them so much, I thought they deserved more attention:
Motherfucking snakes.
Running rampant through the sky.
Motherfucking plane.
by crazymonk
Roses are red
sugar is cane
who puts snakes
on this motherfucking plane?!?!?!?!?!
by Snakes in Europe
Terror slithers on
Silent foe, miles above Earth
Snakes are on the plane.
by K Project
What did you say? Snakes?
On the motherfucking plane?
Now that’s a movie!
by New York Anthony
snakes on a plane, bitch
on this motherfucking plane
aint shit we can do
by Snakes in Europe
SOAP? What’s this stupid shit?
Snakes on a Plane is better.
Change it and gross zero!
by snakes in wisconsin
I’d love to get more, post them in the comments below.
On a housekeeping note, I’m going to be out of town for a few days and I don’t know if I’ll be able to get online or not. If Samuel L. Jackson goes on TV and talks about how he thinks I’m the coolest guy in the whole world, and I don’t mention anything about it here, that’s why.
But please, write me some poems.
Well, it hadn’t occurred to me that this would be a contest, but it appears chryslerpoet is the first person to use the phrase “Snakes on a Plane” in a poem. Here’s a little bit from the end:
The way I look at it:
at this age I’m well into the second half.
Whatever bites me, bites me.
If I get depressed, I’m skipping the suicide
because there’s isn’t all that long to wait.And if there are snakes
on this motherfucking plane,
motherfucker, at least I’m flying.
I wasn’t expecting that when I woke up this morning.
All previous Fan Sites.
UPDATE: CrazyMonk had a good idea/haiku in the comments, can anyone come up with more?
UPDATE: Many MANY more fan-written poems here.
Ok, I can’t believe I missed this for so long. There’s a guy named Mike Arnold who’s working on a Nintendo style Snakes on a Plane video game based on River City Ransom. Nice! Here’s some screenshots of the work in progress:
“I hold your plane captive & Sam’s witness hostage. WIth my boxes of snakes & evil cobras, nobody can stop me now. Meet my demands - or else!… P.S. Sam & Kenan if you interfere, you’ll be in for the fight of your lives! … Man in Suit”
Check out his blog about the game.
(Ack, I don’t have a category for Video games. I’m going to call it a fan site for the time being).
Steve pointed me to a posting on the IMDB forum for Snakes on a Plane written by an actor who played a passenger in the film, here’s what she had to say about it:
“I was lucky enough to be one of the first wave of passengers to die on this snake infested airplane and I just wanted to tell you my little story. This movie knows what it is, and has alot of fun with it. Every single day on set we had a BALL, the lot of us; it was like playing. Every take was different and improvisation was encouraged and I have a feeling the rediculous fun it took making the film will be apparent to anyone who’s gonna pay up to watch ‘Snakes On A Plane’. I also thought I might clarify that David Ellis did not write the film, so one wouldn’t assume he’d have to have majored in Biology or even more specifically Snake Anatomy 101. In fact I read the script and, as it turns out, accuracy and believability don’t really matter in a film entitled SNAKES ON A PLANE! But, come on, it’s not like they sneak HUNDREDS of snakes on board via somebodys purse; especially the GIANT bugger! Wait ’til you see him! My bet is this movie is going to make people laugh and just have fun. There were plenty of trainers and snake enthusiasts like yourself on set who seemed to understood suspension of disbelief, so give it a shot yourself and you just might enjoy the show.”
It’s nice to hear about the actors enjoying the film. Mainly, though, it just seemed important to get those horrible animated gifs off the top of the page. Phew.
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