Oh, yeah!

I’m….just…soo….happy. I want this motherfuckin movie to be out right motherfuckin now!!!!

Yeah, he does actually make this sound good…I was worried from reading the review of the book, that it would take at least a hour until we see snakes on a plane but from this review it seems that its all go go go.

Excellent…

Snakes is such a curious thing. It’s got a B-movie premise and a B-movie title but seems to get an A for quality. Go figure.

Those cinematic elitists (like Roger Ebert, the pompous cretin) can kiss my asp.

Movies are about one or both of two things–art and entertainment. (And they’re not mutually exclusive, as some might think.) Entertainment is, in short, “anything you are entertained by,” whatever it may be. Art is…art. It can be the Mona Lisa or it can be a bunch of giant fucking umbrellas on a hill.

A truly good film doesn’t have to include petticoats and hoity-toity accents. It doesn’t have to include overhyped Oscar whores. It doesn’t have to have a famous director, studio, or producer. All it needs is a vision and the resources to make that happen (a good script, a good cast, and gobs of cold, hard cash).

Oh man, imagine Roger “asphole” Ebert’s review of this film. Yikes. Does anyone trust his advice on movies? Would it affect sales in any way? I mean, I personally wouldn’t trust his opinion as far as I could throw a whale that’s been weighted down with bricks, but maybe some people still think he’s all that.

Also keep in mind that Ebert gave both Garfield films a 3-star rating.

I don’t think that Ebert has ever swayed me one way or the other about seeing a movie, but I actually do enjoy his reviews. They’re entertaining and engaging on their own. He’s often very astute and sees things about a movie that I missed. Whether or not I care for his attitude towards irony, or even whether I agree with the end results of his reviews, I enjoy reading them.

That being said I was disappointed when I went to read his review of A Scanner Darkly and was reminded that he’s currently in the hospital and not writing any reviews. So, we may not get a Snakes on a Plane review and I, for one, am sad about that. He was angry about the movie’s main conceit, but would that ruin it for him? Could he be won over? Or would he have torn it apart? I was genuinely looking forward to reading it.

I hope he gets better.

Im really hyped but honestly, I dont trust a motherf**king thing that AICN has on their website.

I think it’s completely possible that Ebert can be won over by Snakes. He’s the kind of guy who knows about the Internet hype, and probably has checked into it himself. He often gives a movie a low star rating with a positive review. I’d expect to see something like that with Snakes on a Plane.

I realize a lot of people don’t care for Ebert’s reviews, but check out his review of Armageddon some time. The guy’s got a great sense of humor. I hope his recovery goes smoothly. I miss his reviews and hope he’s back in time for Snakes on a Plane.

Ann, I like you’re motherfuckin attitude. Seriously though, you’re absolutely right. It’s a form of entertainment. Why are we going to see SoaP? To be entertained. To see Snakes on a Plane. To see Samuel L Jackson. That’s pretty much it!

Of course the critics are probably going to be harsh to this movie. From what my friend told me (I don’t know how true it is) a lot of film critics are failed movie-script writers who couldn’t get there idea out there so tend to hate on anything they don’t deem worthy enough to be a movie. They need to get over themselves (if it’s true).

This movie could be cheesy. It could be terrible. But it’s at least going to be fun. I, for one, think that it’s so nice of a movie studio that actually listens to it’s fans. We wanted it to be Rated R, and they made it Rated R. We wanted to hear Sam yell I want these motherfuckin snakes of the motherfuckin plane, and they put it in! That right there speaks volumes to me. I can’t think of another movie that’s even done that. All I know is that I am going to enjoy this movie, good or bad.

By the way, you’ve probably noticed that my server is having trouble today. Another site hosted on the same machine is dragging everybody else down with it. My hosting company is working to repair the problem and I don’t anticipate it lasting longer than today. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Ditto 100 percent on Brian about Ebert.

On to the review at hand, however, this is the kind of review that I’d HOPE the movie would be getting all along, but I wasn’t holding my breath for. Bravo for all those involved.

I have felt for a while now that SoaP has to make money, because it’s come down to “us vs. them.” “Us” representing the Internet generation mame-spreading youth who are mostly infamous for doing nothing of particular substance, and “them” representing the type of people in power with conservative viewpoints on art – those who are scared to take risks.

Those who shackle obvious R-rated material with PG-13 ratings. Those who would change the name to “Pan Air Flight Who Gives A Shit” because they don’t get or think they can sell a movie called “Snakes on a Plane.” Those who think shooting three “Lord of the Rings” movies at once is not a lucrative venture with an audience to support it.

I know we need those people, I know they keep the more zany selection of us who are always trying new things grounded a tad. But every now and then things like this come along and it opens doors. If and when the next time one of “us” wants to do a movie called, oh, “Pandas in a Helicopter,” one of “them” just might listen if we can make “SoaP” a blockbuster.

New Line, Dave Ellis, Sam Jack and Co. have only done part of the job people, it’s up to us to finish it.

Anyone here familiar with m15m (Movies in 15 Minutes)? It’s a LiveJournal. And a person. Anyway, she sums up movies in 15 minutes in script format. I’d like to see her tackle SoaP.

I’m going to quote from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (you have to be on her friends list to see entries). It’s not the whole text, and I’m attributing it, and I just want that noted for the record.

“LUPIN: So I knew you’d conjure something terrifying, which is why I stopped you.
HARRY: Except that… you totally didn’t.
LUPIN: Whatever. My point is, I thought you’d choose Voldemort for your turn.
HARRY: Well, then, that makes letting me have a whack at the boggart really stupid, now, doesn’t it?
LUPIN: …
HARRY: …
LUPIN: Here, eat this chocolate. You know, you look a lot like your father. Except that you have J.K. Rowling’s eyes.”

http://community.livejournal.com/m15m/2237.html

Honestly, though, I think many of them take more than 15 minutes…but it’d be funny to do SoaP…I think. Of course, I’m seriously mentally unhinged.

“Parseltongue, motherfucker! Do you speak it?”

Aw, Ebert always likes kids movies. He’s a sucker for warmth, snakes, morality and furry creatures. I have the feeling he wont be as receptive to reptiles - especially reptiles with vendettas.

Ann–I thought no one else knew about Movies in 15 Minutes! My favorite is Van Helsing! That girl has some serious talent. Imagine her doing “SoaP”:

SLJ: **tazers snake**

Snake: I KEEL YOU!!

Ebert also likes pretty much any movie with lesbians, interracial couples, and/or futuristic cities. It’s his kryptonite.

From the review..

“The finale of “Snakes On A Plane” is a mix of logic and lunacy. Without giving anything away, one of the passengers is forced to pilot the plane and his previous landing experience comes as a shock to everyone. I found it hilarious… and it was intentionally so. ”

I am praying that if there is a god…then either Robert Hayes, Peter Graves, or Kareem Abdul Jabbar is landing that plane…

Sam Jackson “Can you land this plane?”
Robert Hayes “Surely you can’t be serious”
Sam Jackson “Do I LOOOK like I’m kidding, mother fuckerr?!??!….get yo white crash landing a$$ in the cockpit and land this fuckin plane
Mtg7643 (4:18:40 PM): Sam Jackson “Oh, and one more thing….just want to tell you good luck, we’re all counting on you”

LMAO I love Airplane. If that happened in the movie, I would most likely die laughing.

Ok, Mr Director of Snakes on a Plane…read the above dialogue….and change the ending..you still have a month before the movie is released…if there’s a god in heaven someone from the movie “Airplane” is landing that plane…hell, even if it’s that blowup pilot Otto, I’d be happy…

god now this movie is only gonna piss SoaP haters off cuz its a good movie with a great name haha.

A good review, great!

If my brother gets a bootleg DVD of SoaP before it comes out here in Ireland, I’m going to REFUSE to watch it, this is ment to be seen in a CINEMA! :D

I don’t think Pirates is going to have its records for very long…..