There was no controversy, just some radical left wing PC Hillary Clinton worshpiing nutcase spewing her typical liberal “Support the ACLU” nonsense.

Thats a great story Matt!! Your kids must love class! Its great when kids actually LOVE their class as opposed to seeing it as a bother. We need more teachers like you who make learning FUN.

hey - my coloring page won’t print out. :-(

Yeah, that was great. I kinda wish there weren’t typos, though…high school kids are bad enough with grammar and spelling. I wish younger kids would get a better start in learning to write properly.

In all fairness, I did ask him to type it up quickly and it is fairly long. I’d attribute any errors to lack of proofreading time as opposed to poor grammar skills (much like pretty much everything else on the internet).

Also, what problem are you having with the picture exactly?

Sorry for all those typos! I typed it fast and sent it without any proofreading. My student’s only hear the story being told.

My child goes to that school and that poster is signed by the
director of SOAP! The director also wrote all the children’s names on it too. I’m not sure how it happened, but I think it’s pretty cool! Come to think of it, there are two SOAP posters in that classroom.

Hey cant someone make a download list of the soap songs? i want to fill a cd with songs about snakes on plane

Hey check this out:
http://i.somethingawful.com/inserts/articlepics/photoshop/05-19-06-airlines/TheGune.jpg

Hyperslug: here.

When I try to print out the coloring picture, I get an error message that says “printing failed when completing the page”. Does anyone else have that problem? Granted, my computer is limping along at it’s advanced age (much like me), but I don’t think that is what the problem is. Anyone? Anyone?

O.K. I still think that’s kind of scary for children, most of the passengers ending up dead and all, but whatever. Just wondering how the parents are going to feel when their children start pestering them incessantly to take them to see the movie.

Then the parents will have to be PARENTS and say no. Trying to keep a child from asking for things is impossible. You can’t hide your kids from everything that they shouldn’t do and learning that you can’t have everything you ask for is not a bad lesson to learn.

Correct, this may not be a bad lesson to learn…I completely agree. However, may I postulate that the best way to teach this lesson is not necessarily by reading stories to them about “Snakes on a Plane” who happen to massacre all but 8 (count them, 8) passengers and subsequently telling them that they cannot see a film based on said matter because it is too “scary” or “adult” or “psychotic”? There is a mixed message here, one which children of this age cannot possibly comprehend.

What was once a “fun” (if that is what the kids are calling people who are horribly killed by venemous snakes on a plane these days) story, is now too scary and horriffic for them to be able to witness is bound to raise some questions that even the most adept parent will have trouble answering.

Trust me when I say that children can smell hypocrisy a thousand miles away.

And for those who use “faerie tales” as a reason to be able to present our children with the possibility of being poisoned to death by horrible serpents who happen to be loosed upon a plane full of innocents, here is a history lesson: these stories were never meant to be told to CHILDREN. They were morality stories intended for adults only, and if you study the originals, then you will notice that they were so horriffic that shoving a witch into an oven to be roasted in order to save yourself from being cannibalized, or having a wolf devour your Grandmother and then pose as said woman in order to devour you as well are, well, faerie tales in comparison with the sisters of Cinderella’s (Cendrillon’s) sisters cutting off parts of their own feet and then “bleeding out” in order to fit into the “glass” (which was really fur due to a translation issue) slipper. These tales were never in any way intended for the eyes and/or ears of children. This is a fact.

Pedagogically, there is absolutely NOTHING educational about this story except for the suggestion that if one does the right thing by “tattling” on a bad person, then he/she will be relentlessly persued by deadly, venemous snakes, on a plane no less, and that they will hopefully be saved by a policeman while everyone else dies horribly. Good lesson. Keep up the good work.

Since when does the content need to be “educational” just because it is being promoted at school. Please. These children will, in all likelyhood, hear about this movie while they go about their lives. Trying to protect them from popular culture is a waste of time. IN MY OPINION, if you let them explore themes that MAY be frightening to them and then let decide if they want to explore it further or let it drop, and you take your cue FROM THEM, you are serving them far better than to try and protect them from everything that could possibly frighten them in any way. All you need to do is pay attention to what the child thinks, not what you assume they should think or feel. I’d put up one of the kids raised by that teacher (or me for that matter) up against one raised by you and see who has the more well adjusted adult at the end.

Nobody dies in that story. “Snake Bite” is about as vicious as it gets. There is also no mention of snakes dying either. I think there are 8 people left because everyone else is unconcious. Job gets bitten and lives, why can’t everyone else?

Brian your mom f**king rocks man!!! She’s totallly f**king cool!

Mama SOAP, you rock!

OK. Now I want a shirt that says Mama Soap.
Thank you SIE. :-)

O.K., you’re right when you say that there was nothing explicit about anyone dying, which makes the story completely appropriate for 5-year-old children. Your revelation has inspired me to write a children’s version of the Excorcist. When her demonic possession causes her to throw a man out of a second-story window down a flight of cement stairs, he simply goes to the hospital to get patched up. I am also working on a children’s version of Debbie does Dallas as well, in which they all go out for ice cream after Debbie bangs the entire football team.

I do not want to make assumptions about how a child should think or feel about something. I would rather allow them to explore the ideas of Satan and anal sex for themselves and then decide for themselves how these things make them feel. After all, a parent has no business shielding their children from these things as they will eventually be exposed to them anyway. Oh wait, YES THEY DO because that is the entire purpose of being a parent.

Look for my books to hit shelves this Fall, published by “Thank God you Were Not My Mother” publications.

oh for crying out loud. Of COURSE parents have to use some common sense when exposing children to some ideas. I just don’t think getting all hysterical over snakes on a plane is necessarily the right thing here.

I’d thank God that you weren’t my father, but I’m an athiest, so I’ll just do a little happy dance instead.

Oh and, I’ve raised 4 children, two of them to adulthood and one of them is Brian. How many have you raised?

OK, first of all I am a girl and haven’t raised any children (not that this is the point) and no-one is getting hysterical. However if I were the parent of one of those children, I would find it a bit strange when they came home with coloring pages of two giant snakes wrapped around a plane. Not only is it a colossal waste of time, but I would have to question the thought process of my child’s teacher. The reason that the movie is rated R is because the subject matter is simply not appropriate for small children, no matter how much you try to bring it down to their level. It is still a story about hundreds of poisonous snakes biting people who are hurtling through the air in what has essentially become a flying coffin.

And what about this song? Are the children singing that too?

I’ll discuss this further with you after you’ve had kids. Thank you.

You’re right. I’m sure at that point I will find this story completely appropriate for children of all ages.

no, but you’ll have some experience and you’re opinion will be more valid in this argument.

Snakey at this rate right now no man in his right mind will want to ever impregnate you with THAT pms attitude.

hey isn’t THE VIEW on? Go watch so ultra-fanatical liberal agenda and leave the snakesonaplanicacs alone.

Mama SOAP kicks ass, ’nuff said.

Actually Snakey, they sing the song but without the “Mother (censored) snakes” line. For that part they just say “Snakes on a plane” but a bit faster. To tell you the truth, I could use a break from them singing it all day long :) But that’s how children are, they find something they enjoy and they do it over, and over, and over. The children are also very aware that they will not be able to see the film and are completley fine with it…they are incredibly smart and level headed. Tomorrow they are performing “Ancient Civilization’s Contributions To Modern Day Society” for graduation.

I don’t see why it should be terrifically difficult for parents to tell their children “There are too many bad words and scary things in the movie for children. It’s a grown-up movie.” Children are perfectly able to accept the line between child and adult if presented simply and matter-of-factly.

Further history lesson:
Though they would come to be associated with children’s literature in the late 19th century, Fairy (”Faerie” for the pretentious) Tales were originally intended for adults and children alike. Many are deeply rooted in folklore and legend, and have been instructional on many levels through time. Some are religious and moral in tone/intention, others were likely intended as simple instruction for day-to-day tasks or safety–though we can read much more into them now. But protecting children from “scary” stories IS a new idea. Children’s literature as a genre is relatively new, but that’s because children were often or usually told the same brutal tales adults learned.

As for the pedagogic value of a Snakes on a Plane story and song–there is enough educational and developmental strength at the kindergarten level in singing, coloring, memorizing, and sitting quietly to listen to a story, that a lack of moral or academic instruction in the story itself can be overlooked.

Each child plays an ancient civilization and must prove to Anubis that they have contributed something to our present day world. The ancient Roman will tell how he contributed concrete, the english alphabet, roads, aqueducts, etc. Actually, Anubis will be weighing their hearts on his scale, but many of you probably think I should not tell children what Ancient Egyptians believed in. How would you explain our planet’s names without discussion of Roman God’s?

very well argued Swallowwhole.

Actually the audience for faerie tales was originally intended to be adults and the tales were mediums by which to entertain and educate using the oral tradition. The faerie tale is a derivation of the folktale-a genre which WAS in fact intended for people of all ages. Faerie tales tended to be darker and “scarier” and there was often no clear moral lesson or stance unlike folktales, which nearly always had a strong moral agenda.

I also have no problem with children learning about Gods and Goddesses, although I prefer the Greek to the Roman. However, I do not believe that they should be taught the stories in their entirety, Zues coming down from Olympus as a cow and banging virgins might be a little much, as, in my opinion, are Snakes on a Plane.

And to the European prick, men who accuse women of having PMS are truly sad and most assuredly pathetic. And I am not a right-wing fanatic, I am a Republican and I hate the View, so suck it.

By the way, I practically raised my younger brother from infancy, I simply do not have (or particularly want given the social climate these days) children…maybe someday, so I am not speaking from a position of ignorance here. And “you’re” means YOU ARE while “your” implies possession.

I have a child in that school, and I have seen children from Mr. Matt’s class doing long division at 4, reading at 3, and do an entire year long project on Art History, where the children painted 8 famous paintings. The children that have moved onto Kindergarten elsewhere are bored in class, they are so advanced. It’s a coloring sheet. If a child sits and takes his/her time in coloring, they are working on fine motor skills, as well as improving their attention span. Children pick up on things that we would never think that they would notice. These children are amazing, they are bright and well rounded. I think that if you read some children’ s books you would realize that, most of them are made up stories. Not only are they made up stories, some of them are ridiculous… and what about cartoon shows? Pokemon? Danny Phantom? This whole story could actually turn into an amazing learning experience. They could possibly do an entire summer session on the different types of snakes and how to identify them, which are poisonous, and which are not. Where each snake lives.. which could lead to a HUGE geography lession, and move into climates of different parts of the world.. etc etc etc. It takes an OPEN mind to teach children, and to turn something that could possibly not be appropriate into something educational and wonderful.
And I thought the reason the movie was rated R was because they went back and added extra scenes to MAKE it R. Wasn’t it to include the phrase “Motherfucking snakes”? I thought it was rated PG 13 up until the edit. I could be wrong, but Brian.. didn’t you post an entry about that?

It was PG-13 until they went back to add more nudity/gore/swear words to bring it up to an R rating.

I am glad that these children seem to be doing so well at such an early age. And I agree that there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with coloring in and of itself…it is the subject that concerns me. Also, I must say that I do not necessarily believe that children SHOULD be reading at 3 and doing long division at 4. This is part of the reason that I do not believe that this is an appropriate subject for children. Let children be children for the brief time that they can be.

And I LOVE children’s literature. I have written a children’s book myself, and my Mother teaches Kindergarten.

If the parents and the children are happy with the subjects being taught at this school and the principal of the school agrees that this is an appropriate curriculum, then I suppose all involved are at least happy with the situation and it does not REALLY affect me anyway. Also, I’m sure this man is a good teacher with an obvious passion for what he does, which is essential in a good teacher.

I had a teacher in 8th grade who read “Go Ask Alice” to us aloud, including words like “cocksucker” and “motherfucker”, and she was fantastic (this was a Lutheran school, no less…haha. But I DO think that was a bit over the top (although I loved it at the time) and I feel the same about Snakes on a Plane for Kindergarteners.

And yes, saying Motherfucker makes an “R” rating pretty much a slam dunk :)

wow, if there’s going to be a fight, I’ve got Brian’s Mom’s back.

And just a tip to Snakey Shelteredchildhood, if in the course of substantive debate you find yourself falling back on correcting your opponent’s grammar, you’ve already lost and you should find something to do that you’re better at.

(go ahead, fix that grammar)

Snakey, I used to beleieve as you do “let children be children”, but then I went to college and actually studied children’s development. For more info. on children reading, doing long division, and correctly naming polygons,etc. whilst being aloud to be children at the same time, you should read books by Maria Montessori.

Each child should be encouraged to develop at his or her OWN rate - not the lowest common denominator of the classroom. I like public school, but in my opinion this is the biggest problem with trying to educate a large group all at once. Just because one child is afraid of say, bunnies, it shouldn’t mean that the entire classroom should be held back from discussing bunnies. Children are wildly different in what they can or cannot learn or deal with, but each one should be taught in order for him to progress and stay interested in what they are doing. I’d back this teacher up all the way if I had a child in that class. The best teachers are the ones that think outside the box. You, Ms. Snakey, would make a really terrible teacher. Please don’t go into that line of work. Or, have some children before you do. Once you have a 3 year old who is ready to learn to read the New York Times, you will see the wrongness of holding him back. You should never discourage learning - what a terrible, terrible mistake.

And, by the way, I used incorrect grammer because I was so angry. I was in such a rush to write and hit the submit button that I missed it. Don’t be such a hard ass.
And, by the way, if your mother is a teacher, why were you raising your brother?

And, thanks theshelldog.

I am familiar with the Montessori method of education and I believe it, like anything else, has its pros and cons. And I do not believe that it is catering to the lowest common denominator to suggest that children should not be doing long division at the age of 4. There are concepts and skills that these children can and should learn at this stage that are much more age-appropriate. And being afraid of bunnies and being afraid of venemous snakes are two different things entirely, but I think you already know that.

And by the way, I was reading at 2 1/2 years of age, however, I did not have anyone jamming long-division down my throat. Reading interested me and I persued it with the encouragement of the adults around me. Just because children are CAPABLE of something does not mean that they are READY for it. Take sex as an example.

And I’m really sorry to burst your bubble, but I AM a teacher. I teach advanced French at a University. I’m guessing you won’t be signing up?

And to answer your question, I was 12 when my brother was born, so I had as much of a hand in raising him as my mother, actually more considering that I am the one he spills his 17-year-old guts to, and I would not have it any other way.

And to the grammar-impaired shelldog, trust me, I am DYING to fix the grammar in your post, but I don’t suppose it would do you any good.

Excellent. See? A little slower than most, but I knew that if you tried hard enough, you’d catch on.

Cheers!

Yes I suppose your teachers gave up on you long ago…

ahhh Snarkey…

I love that you show such perseverance. You’re like the President, picking little fights that you can’t possibly win, and doing it on several fronts at once. I almost feel bad that we’re passing you around like an $8 bottle of Andre on the last day of school.

I guess a shot at my education was sort of clever. A lesser recipient of your frail dart might take this opportunity to dabble in the intellectual equivalent of name-dropping. I suppose I could muse on about going to college on a full academic scholarship, or talk about scoring a 780 verbal back when that meant something. I could probably recite the dates of all of the 4.0’s in undergrad, or ask if the words Phi Beta Kappa meant anything to you (oops, better grab the English-Spanish dictionary for that one!). I could laundry list the litany of honors and accolades like you were some Internet admissions board- but I’m not going to. That would be arrogant, condescending, and, frankly, beneath me.

You see, the only bummer about attending an elite law school is that you have to spend a great deal of your time indoors. Now that I’m on break for a bit, I’m not sure it’s worth my time to engage in a drawn-out Internet give and take that might require me to devote a great deal of thought to the rantings of a charter member of the There-But-for-the-Grace-of-God-Go-I Society. But I happened to be reading through the comments, and it’s part of my philosophy in life: every time I see respectable, decent people countenancing cheap shots by a tyrannical, child-less French TA telling everyone else how they should behave, I usually try to step in and call it like I see it.

Look, Nurse Ratchet, we get it. You think the world has gone all out of control and you’re here to save us. Totally plausible. But please, try to accomplish it in some other, more constructive way. You’re a little bit like the crazy neighbor that lives across the street on Big Love, trying to impress your overbearing (potentially Mormon) way of life upon us. It’s a big world, and I know that it burns deep inside when you hear that the way that others raise their children is not exactly the same as you would, but try to resist the impulse to go Ann Coulter on us. In fact, maybe start a blog of your own. I’m sure there are tens, even hundreds of other card-carrying Concerned Women for America members like yourself that would lbe interested in your tirades. Around here, though, we like to talk about a movie that we’re eagerly anticipating, and things that relate to that movie, and other things that make us laugh. In fact, we like to talk about all sorts of things, so long as they don’t veer into the weird, Margaret Thatcher trip that you’re trying to pull. It’s cool if you want to hang around, even contribute from time to time; as far as the holier-than-thou gig, though, I have to quote Jack Nicholson as Melvin Udall when I say please, “Sell crazy someplace else.”

ahhhh Snarkey…

I love that you show such perseverance. You’re like the President, picking little fights that you can’t possibly win, and doing it on several fronts at once. I almost feel bad that we’re passing you around like an $8 bottle of Andre on the last day of school.

I guess a shot at my education was sort of clever. A lesser recipient of your frail dart might take this opportunity to dabble in the intellectual equivalent of name-dropping. I suppose I could muse on about going to college on a full academic scholarship, or talk about scoring a 780 verbal back when that meant something. I could probably recite the dates of all of the 4.0’s in undergrad, or ask if the words Phi Beta Kappa meant anything to you (oops, better grab the English-Spanish dictionary for that one!). I could laundry list the litany of honors and accolades like you were some Internet admissions board- but I’m not going to. That would be arrogant, condescending, and, frankly, beneath me.

You see, the only bummer about attending an elite law school is that you have to spend a great deal of your time indoors. Now that I’m on break for a bit, I’m not sure it’s worth my time to engage in a drawn-out Internet give and take that might require me to devote a great deal of thought to the rantings of a charter member of the There-But-for-the-Grace-of-God-Go-I Society. But I happened to be reading through the comments, and it’s part of my philosophy in life: every time I see respectable, decent people countenancing cheap shots by a tyrannical, child-less French TA telling everyone else how they should behave, I usually try to step in and call it like I see it.

Look, Nurse Ratchet, we get it. You think the world has gone all out of control and you’re here to save us. Totally plausible. But please, try to accomplish it in some other, more constructive way. You’re a little bit like the crazy neighbor that lives across the street on Big Love, trying to impress your overbearing (potentially Mormon) way of life upon us. It’s a big world, and I know that it burns deep inside when you hear that the way that others raise their children is not exactly the same as you would, but try to resist the impulse to go Ann Coulter on us. In fact, maybe start a blog of your own. I’m sure there are tens, even hundreds of other card-carrying Concerned Women for America members like yourself that would lbe interested in your tirades. Around here, though, we like to talk about a movie that we’re eagerly anticipating, and things that relate to that movie, and other things that make us laugh. In fact, we like to talk about all sorts of things, so long as they don’t veer into the weird, Margaret Thatcher trip that you’re trying to pull. It’s cool if you want to hang around, even contribute from time to time; as far as the holier-than-thou gig, though, I have to quote Jack Nicholson as Melvin Udall when I say please, “Sell crazy someplace else.”

In the Montessori philosophy teachers are trained to observe the children in the classroom and give lessons based on the child’s interest. So in Montessori classrooms a 4 year old might actually be interested in long division. A good teacher knows which lessons a child is ready to accomplish. If during the lesson the child is not interested or is not ready, the teacher will finish up the lesson, and present it at another time. I agree that Montessori has it’s pro’s and con’s, but trust me when I say these children are children. They play like kids, they talk like kids, they act like kids, they just happen to have been given the benefit of the doubt and presented with information that they were insterested in. It sounds like the church or government…. “don’t tell the people all of the information.. they can’t handle it… dumb it down.. shelter them… let’s pad the truth.. it’ll hurt less”

Ok, Ms. Snarkey, theshelldog got to you before I did and that is much better because I am far too uneducated to quarrel with someone as smart as you are. You see, it’s teachers like you who sent me running from the educational system after completing only a year and a half of college. Instead, I spent my time learning child development on my own and every second of my day and night rearing my children instead of having someone else do it - that takes more time, effort and commitment than you could possibly understand. I’d really like to talk to your Mom about how you think that you raised your brother. I’m sure she’d have some input into that discussion.

But, I’m sure you are bored with this, so I’ll just go back to doing what I do best. Raising open minded, curious, thoughtful kids who fight over-bearing, boorish, control freaks whenever they find them.

And, by the way. No one is not a hyphenated word. You should be more careful with your stone throwing when you are far from perfect yourself.

I feel sad and left out that I’m not interested in debating the pedagogical worthiness (or justifiability) of the Snakes of a Kindergarten Storytime Story. Instead, all I have to say is that I really enjoyed reading the story and it made me laugh out loud a couple times, both of which I was lucky enough not to have my boss walk past my office while I was so completely obviously not working.

So: thanks for the laugh, Mr. Matt! (I particularly enjoyed that the dastardly Mr. No-Good’s theft was of cookies. Man, I want a cookie now. And a nap!)

Guys, guys, guys . . .

Let me wade in here and say whoa nelly. I can’t believe I’ve stirred up such a ruckus. My original post was really to warn my fellow SoaP fan Matt (who by the way strikes me as an AWESOME, fun, creative, teacher, more on that later) that some parents might not be too happy to learn that our kids had been exposed to SoaP via their kindergarten teacher.

If you don’t believe parents feel this way, consider this: I have a friend who was upset when her daughter’s summer camp counseler showed the Incredibles (PG) to her 5 1/2 year old daughter’s class.

On the other hand, I just found out that a neigbor lets her 7 year old son watch The Sopranos.

Me, I’m in between. Despite what Mother and that guy who swears I’m a Hillary Clinton-loving liberal say, I consider myself pretty normal. I took my 6 and 7 year old to see the last Star Wars, which was PG-13. It was pretty dark in spots, but we got through the worst of the visuals with an “okay, guys, here’s the part where you need to close your eyes for a second.” They were cool, I was cool, and we enjoyed the movie. (So nanny-nanny boo-boo, my kids are NOT in a bubble, thank you very much.)

The point is, parents feel differntly - and strongly - about what their kids are exposed to. And because of that, I think teachers shouldn’t be the ones to go to decide how far to push the envelope on what kids hear. Again, after reading Matt’s posts, I have no doubt his heart is in the right place, but I can also tell you, if he was my kid’s teacher, at the first whiff of SoaP in the classroom, I’d probably have taken him aside and say, “Hey Matt - y’know, would you mind not going there? I know it’s an awesome movie, and personally I’m on the SoaBlog more often than I admit, but I’ve already made a conscious choice at home not to tell my kids about the wonder and beauty that is SoaP, so I’d prefer that you not do so here, ‘kay?” And since Matt sounds like a good guy and a reasonable guy, I have a feeling he’d respect my wishes as a parent, maybe after he and I had a good discussion about what he planned to be up to. Parents and teachers are PARTNERS and not adversarial. (I probably shouldn’t have said “I’d call the principal” in my first post b/c reality is that is not conducive to a good parent/teacher relationship.)

Anyway, I hope that helps flesh things out. Matt, I’d welcome your feedback.

One last request: Mother, Snakey Snakerson, the guy who thinks I’m a liberal (which, by the way, is pretty darn funny!) — Let’s try to keep things nice here, no need for this debate to get so fanged and vicious. Let’s leave that to the snakes!

Signed,

Concerned SoaP Mom

Talking to the teacher first is always a better idea! If one parent asked me not to present the info…I wouldn’t. It’s like when we studied world history and got to prehistoric man. The children asked why homo habilis and neanderthal man looked like a monkey. I then asked the parents if anyone would be upset if I used evolutionary action figures to present “the idea” of evolution. I said I would not say it was fact and if any child brought up creationism, I would discuss that too. If anyone was against the idea it would be tossed! Every parent, even the Christians, decided to allow it. The children had a great time discussing it, and not all of them chose to believe it.

I am sure that last post will also start a small scale riot, but I should tell you that I do not work in a public school, and I actually am the principal as well. I should also let you all know that I have been teacher of the year for the past two years, due largely to the fact that I give %150 to my students…including my Saturdays when I take my class on field trips to Natural History museums, art museums, observatories, colliseums, etc.

My students also had a gallery show here in my city. They spent the year recreating masterpiece paintings, from every significant art movement, onto large canvases. I would paint the outline and then children would decide what colors needed to go where, and then paint it. The finished paintings were auctioned off as a fund raiser. The students ended up so knowledgeable about art it blew peoples minds…and yes they had fun learning it. To view their paintings go to autosphere.com/mbarr/artsale.html

oops….I meant people’s (must fix my grammar) :)

. . . as I suspected, a great teacher and a reasonable guy.

Matt, just be careful. Although it sounds like you have rightfully earned the trust and respect of your kids’ parents, are you sure that they would all be okay with that story? “. . . It bit the woman’s leg hoping for dinner, “AAAARRGGGHHH!” she screamed . . . the airplane was flying downward towards the ocean . . . Job passed out due to the poison . . . The airplane bounced, skidded, and heaved through the grass. . . The plane caught on fire . . . etc. etc. ”

I would be pretty upset if my daugher’s kindergarten teacher (who, like you, is wonderful, engaged teacher) started discussing such things in the class. While I think it’s great to teach kids about snakes, there are plenty of other not-so-violent ways to introduce the concept.

Now, about that evolution thing . . . (just kidding, I think you get an A+ for how you handled that).

Concerned SoaP Mom

P.S. Hillary in ‘08!

P.P.S. (not)

Stop Hilary Now.
Thank you.

And, by the way, Concerned Soap Mom, please don’t lecture me about my posts. I’m not tying you down and making you read them. I don’t want to read about your support of Hilary, but you have the right to wave that around if you want. If you don’t like the way I put things, then don’t read my posts.

You know, kind of like if you don’t like what you hear on the radio or TV, then you can change the channel. You don’t have to keep everyone else from hearing or seeing it. Oh wait, you wouldn’t understand that concept.

So, I’ll not ask to have your political comments removed because they are an affront to my sensibilities and you can keep your opinion about my choice of words to yourself.

O.K. to theshelldog…What was this about?
“I guess a shot at my education was sort of clever. A lesser recipient of your frail dart might take this opportunity to dabble in the intellectual equivalent of name-dropping. I suppose I could muse on about going to college on a full academic scholarship, or talk about scoring a 780 verbal back when that meant something. I could probably recite the dates of all of the 4.0’s in undergrad, or ask if the words Phi Beta Kappa meant anything to you (oops, better grab the English-Spanish dictionary for that one!). I could laundry list the litany of honors and accolades like you were some Internet admissions board- but I’m not going to. That would be arrogant, condescending, and, frankly, beneath me.”

Um, I hate to burst your lil’ bubble here, but if touting your substantial academic achievements is so BENEATH you, then what was that diatribe all about anyway? Hypocrite.

Also, I am not a “TA”, and I’ve no idea where you got that impression. I have a Master’s degree in French Literature, Double majors In French and International Affairs and I studied French Business in Paris.

And Mother, “no-one” and “no one” are both correct spellings of the word. The incorrect spelling is “noone”.

I am in complete agreement with Concerned SOAP Mom. Just because someone personally believes that SOAP is appropriate material for their child does not mean that it is appropriate for a classroom full of children at different stages of development. Some parents might not want their children to be exposed to burning planes plummeting out of the sky and people passing out because they have been poisoned.

And Mother, lighten up! The post Concerned SOAP Mom made about Hillary was a joke.

Also, regarding the Montessori style of education, I find that there is too little praise and no disciplinary action in Montessori schools. The instructors also often have a certain distain for the parents and view them as their “oppressors”

And Maria Montessori did not even raise her own child. She was too busy.

And Mother, “no-one” and “no one” are both correct spellings of the word. The incorrect spelling is “noone”.

And noone is old english for noon! OMG! I’m so like, smart! :D

Couldn’t help but poke fun!

I like Matt’s ideas. I had one teacher I swear to goodness was obsessed with witchcraft (no that’s not why I’m wiccan now, althoug I wonder!!!) and so we’d actually do activities around those things. But after halloween? Yeah it was mostly forgotten. ROFL… I was in 3rd grade then.

I think that there’s so many ways you can turn SOAP into a GREAT idea that engages kids. And so what if they can’t go see it? They understand that! Especially if you tell them WHY they can’t see it!

As for the story being offensive? I don’t. I’ve seen worse lines than the ones trotted out as being “Bad for kids to hear”. Considering how many people’ve heard the story about the wolf that ate gingerbread man piece by piece?? Yeah. No diff.

And Matt, I wish I had y’all for a kindergarden teacher if I’m reading what you said right. Oh I would have turned out different, I believe. :D ((product of public school)

[...] I’m thinking of pictures of people bungie jumping, giving a presentation to a board-room full of men in suits, receiving oral surgery, teaching a classroom full of children… all while wearing a Snakes on a Plane shirt/hat/whatever. Be creative, I’m looking for ideas that leave me laughing, intrigued or confused. Quality of the picture matters, but not as much as content. [...]

Snarkey,
You’re right - I take back the political comment.

And, sometimes parents can be oppressive when it comes to children. For instance, when one decides that being fearful of bunnies is ridiculous, but being fearful of snakes is fully justified and OK. Snarkey, you need to look at the world from a child’s point of view and not impose your views on them. Going back a few posts, my bunny comment was meant to throw light onto the fact that a child’s fears are real TO THEM - no matter if it’s snakes or bunnies. If you approach both fears with equal respect and address them in a matter of fact way, it is far better than to avoid any discussion of them. You have a very bad way about you of being SO sure of your own intelligence that everything YOU think must be right. It is not the right approach for teaching children. Being a control freak is a bad place to start when educating the young. Fortunately, the children you teach are older and only studying French. I’d hate to have you in charge of their development.

i don’t think snarkey realizes when the joke is on her…

O.K. This is not about AVOIDING the discussion of certain things with children. It is about intentionally and deliberately bringing to their attention the idea of being poisoned, plummeting into the ocean in a fiery mass of white-hot flames, etc. when there is absolutely NO reason for doing so besides a Kindergarten teacher’s bizarre obsession with a film that hasn’t even been released yet. Had the children heard about this on their own and wanted to discuss the matter that would be a different story. There is absolutely NO point in bringing this into the classroom otherwise.

This really has nothing to do with this post, but I just had to tell someone.

Tonight I just saw X Men 3. It was really good, but that’s not what this is about. The last trailer just before the movie started was THE SNAKES ON A PLANE TEASER TRAILER!

It started off with white lettering on top of a black screen saying:
“At the movie theatre this Summer,
There will be
Mutants with amazing powers,
Swashbuckling pirates,
Animated adventures,

But none of these movies will have…”

And right there I saw it coming. I started shouting SNAKES ON A PLANE! SNAKES ON A PLANE! And then the trailer started playing hissing….and it grew louder and louder until:

“SNAKES……
ON A PLANE”

And then of course it showed some footage we’ve all allready seen in the Tagworld trailer, with anoconda falling out of that light, etc. But, all with real snakes. No footage with the special-effect snakes in, which got me a little dissapointed. But I got really excited and started laughing as the rest of the audience started looking around confused and started whispering. I heard one person say “Is this a joke?”.

No, Ma’am, this is not. This is Snakes on a Plane.

I’m sure some of you have already seen this, and maybe this is old news, but this atleast got me real excited.

I know that had nothing to do with your little fight, but honestly, what does this fight have to do with Snakes on a Plane in the first place? I understand possibly doubting the thought process behind reading kids a Snakes on a Plane story, but can’t we all agree that this has escallated waaaaaaaaaay too far? Enough is enough (I’ve had it with these snakes). It’s apparent that none of you are going to change your oppinions, so why bother trying to push yours on each other? And another question: why am I still up? What is it, 1:00? Hell, I’m going to bed.

OH what the hey, I’ll add my $.02 (if anyone cares)…

I’m a proud SoaP Mom of a fabulous SoaP kid–she’s 16 now, and since she was knee-high to an adder, I took it upon MYSELF–NOT the world, NOT the media, and certainly NOT the schools–to teach her right from wrong, what’s considered proper behavior, manners, and the like. Today, she is more well-adjusted than most kids in her sophomore class, and her teachers have always commented on her politeness and sense of morality. She knows that there are people in the world who don’t think, talk, and act as we do, and that’s OK–we aren’t responsible for their actions, only our own. And that doesn’t make THEM worse than us, just different. For example, we don’t use profanity as a rule (but Mom ain’t perfect, y’know), but she’s gonna hear it in school every day–that doesn’t make it right for HER to use it.

Bottom line, I may not like a lot of what’s in the media, but this IS America, and lots of good people died for the right to free speech. If I don’t like it, I don’t watch/listen to/buy it. Simple as that.

And if you’re worried about kids being afraid of snakes and/or planes as a result of this story, you better not read them any fairy tales, or they’ll never trust their dad’s choice of a futures spouse, should anything happen to mom!

Yikes, I didn’t know teaching children that planes could possibly crash was any different than telling them why they should put their seat belts on in the car. I realize now that a plane’s vulnerability is not good learning material. For this reason I shall also make sure none of my students EVER wear seat belts again!!!!!! Thank you all for showing me the error of my ways. Actually, I just thought I’d add to the growing debate it is truly wonderful to see people actually affected.

I’m working on “Basic Instinct 2″ coloring books for ages 4-8, they should be available for the 2007 school year at PROGRESSIVE schools ONLY.

And please, withhold judgment on how I teach your children.

Well, I went to school in Texas, and our morning cafeteria was once disrupted by a large scorpion, and we frequently encountered snakes on the playground.
We didn’t need New Line Cinema or Mr. Matt to make us afraid, and I’m sure that parents these days would feel that we had been unduly traumatized by reality.
Then they’d put us all into Montessori schools where we’d become socially retarded. Then we’d grow up just like them — unable to do anything but sit in our homes taking Valium and listening to NPR because the real world is too contradictory of our silly ideals.
Personally, I preferred the snakes.

Rob, I understand how a scorpion in the cafeteria would scare children…especially if they had not been properly informed about the creatures, and their coexistence with humans. However, I do not understand how Montessori schools make socially retarded adults? I believe home schooling CAN be a wonderful experience with great results but if your going to accuse any educational system of socio-retardation, then I would think home schooling would be a better place to throw your accustations. Again, I think, when done properly, home schooling is a great thing.

Erik, I thought your post about a “Basinct Instinct 2″ coloring page was hilarious. It actually inspired me to make one. However, I do have limits and I will not let my students color them. I will send your “B.I.2″ coloring page to Brian and see if he’ll post it for you…It’s gonna be a doozy!

As a parent of one of the ” pre-socially retarded adults” it does not suprise me that Rob is from Texas. Since we know it is the hotbed of early childhood education (see our president for details). Anyway, that is enough time wasted on Rob’s asinine comment. Onward and upward…this debate is quite inspiring…it is so enjoyable to read the analysis of Matt the kindergarten teacher, as it is clear you all know him so well. I especially enjoy the ability of certain people to discredit some, while in the same breath pat themselves on the back for all their accolades, while at the same time “raising their brother”. It is all quite humorous as I believe that if you don’t get the point of all this by now this is all an incredible waste of time.

One last thing…do I get any continuing education credits for all the wonderful information Snarkey has provided me??

“Just wondering how the parents are going to feel when their children start pestering them incessantly to take them to see the movie. ”

If they’re REAL parents, if their kids want to see the movie and it’s not rated for them, they’ll tell their kids what my parents would have said to me:
“NO.”
There would have been no pestering, whining, tantrums and the like.
Since when did being a pussy become part of being a parent?

WEVE GOT MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES

Erik, like I said, I was inspired by your idea of Basic Instinct coloring page idea and have drawn some for every teacher in the world! They have been sent to snakesonablog and hopefully you can all print them soon!

SOAP illustration contribution:

http://www.bluecrash.com/snakes.html

WAIT SEE THE FIRST MOVIE BEFORE YOU SEE SNAKES ON A PLANE!!!!!!!

SNAKE ON A PLANE

http://www.dropshots.com/day.php?userid=128149&cdate=20060613&ctime=150557

This is in reference to the criticism of “Anywhere but Texas”. I was not patting myself on the back, as you claim, merely illustrating the fact that I am not inexperienced in the ways of raising children and/or making an educated decision on what is or is not appropriate to shove down their throats.

Also, before you get any “continuing education credits” for the education you feel you have gleaned from my riveting posts, you must provide documentation of any previous education whatsoever. I won’t hold my breath.

And by the way, why are you slamming the Texas education system? The Cy-Fair school district in Houston offers one of the best, most challenging and most progressive curriculums in the country.

I would like permission to illustrate this story. I may or may not put it on a website or publish it in any other fashion.

I just wanna draw this thing.

Thanks!

~Anna~
girl_by_thelake@juno.com

Anna, I wrote this version of the SOAP saga way before the story was novelized. It is, as I’m sure you can gather, very loosely based on the SOAP film. If you would like to illustrate it I give you MY permission, but I can not speak for New Line Cinema’s permission. I am sure they would like some say in the matter. Email me at tijuanaviper@yahoo.com and we can further discuss the matter.

Brian, any chance of getting those awesome SNAKES ON BASIC INSTINCT 2 coloring pages posted soon? I will photoshop them myself if it helps….just let me know.

I happened upon this site through the NY Times site and I was incredulous! Steven Colbert did alittle blurb the other night about Snakes on a Plane and I thought he was just being ’stupid’ funny. Now I’m thinking this might really be a movie?

My boyfriend and I don’t get to the movies much. He is an Ironman and we spend our weekends off the cxouch and out of the movies. After reading some of these posts I’m thinking you people have way way too much time on your hands I mean Snakes on a Plane……come on!!!

Hey God’@#$% get off your asses and Jam!!!

time on your hands and on your butts I should have added!!!

Snakey Snakerson, I’ve noticed you’ve been writing quite a bit of comments on this page and i’d like to say…if you don’t like Snakes on a Plane, then don’t come to this website. If all you are going to do is come to this website and complain about how the kids are coloring in Snakes on a Plane posters. Not everything in school has to be educational. Especially in kindergarten. When I was in kindergarten we spent probably half the time doing things that were uneducational. It’s about having fun sometimes and then other times you have to be serious and learn things. I see nothing wrong with the story that the teacher told the children…If it brings them up to fear snakes and/or planes…who cares? Chances are they were going to be afraid of them anyways. A lot of people in this world are scared of snakes and planes. So if you’re not a true fan of Snakes on a Plane…don’t come to the webiste, because that’s what this is about…it’s about motherfucking snakes on a motherfucking plane.

You have to check this out!

http://www.allyoursnakesbelongtous.com

gotta check this out

http://www.allyoursnakesbelongtous.com/

Awesome.

“the teacher says he drew a Basic Instinct 2 coloring page. Was he serious or only f****** with us? He posted it was sent to you, but we’re still looking for it with no success.”

No, he did. I’ll post them, I’ve just gotten bogged down. I’ll probably post them here, though, not at the top of the main site.

The romans took they’re (eek! wrong spelling) children along to gladiator fights and shit (or at least i presume they did. where else would they leave them?) and they owned most of the known world so i’m with them.

Also im a child so i think i must be right (we always do). none of you thought of looking at it from our side did you? If there was nothing to be scared of, no bits in films where you had to look away how are you going to cope in the real world. How do you explain to a child what murder is when the most violence they’ve ever encountered is humpty dumpty falling off a wall. People NEED to be shocked, as long as you dont over do it until they’re conditioned against violence thens its healthy.

Like most things in life things need to be taken in proportion to stay healthy and i think 2hrs of Samuel L jackson kicking some snake butt wont do anyone any harm. (until of course after watching the dvd for the milliononth (how the hell do you spell that?) time you’ve been brainwashed into a ruthless snake killer who wont rest til snakes are extinct)

i think possibly this post might be a bit disjointed and nonesensical but i cant be bothered to read over it or anything so there…

I’m looking forward to seeing those B.I.2 coloring pictures too!

Ack, here, here. Beware, they’re graphic and un-edited. Not for the faint of heart… or kids.

Well worth the wait!

Lol, thats pretty funny.

Hey Erik, they’re finally here… The Basic Instinct 2 coloring pages!!! They’re a two part series based on the first teaser trailer. Click the links four posts above to see them, and remember…you inspired them! Thanks Magog and Todd for your desire to see Snakes On Sharon Stone!

OK Snakes on Exton-never again question my undying love for SOAP. I love it. I love it so much I can hardly wait until Aug. 18th. I just think it’s too scary for kids. I know that’s pretty scandalous, bet there it is.

Snarkey did you see the Snakes on Sharon Stone’s “BEEP” link up above? just a couple of new coloring pages for the world to enjoy!!!!!!! Did Basic instinct go straight to video or was I too consumed with SOAP that I missed seeing it on the marquee (sp?)

By the way, one of my students is ESPECIALLY good at making his armpit “fart”. A couple of weeks ago I recorded him “playing the armpit” whilst singing “S is for snakes”, a SOAP song he wrote. If anyone is interested in hearing it I will send it to SOAB.

so yea im pretty stoked to hear this kid play the armpit and sing about SoaP. Im goin to try to put in on my itunes and listen to it non-stop. That would make my life.

Well then, I have a reason to upload it! I will do so next week. Snakes in glenmoore you are in for a treat! I have never been able to play “the armpit”, but this 5yr old mocks me daily with his genius ability! Also don’t forget to check out the Basic Instinct 2 coloring pages 7 posts above.

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the world is a better, snakier place because of heroes liek you Matt Barr. I am honored to say I know you. Honored!

Oh, Matthew…I am so proud that your beautiful coloring pages were finally posted. They are classic, really. I, like snakes in glenmore, am proud to call you my friend!

By the way, BS 2 is on video. We should rent it when I get home. We can color while we watch it!!!

hey i made a tee shirt. it isnt amazign but it is ok. check it out

http://www.dyoapparel.com/cink/r.jsp?E=one80bysummer78%40aol.com&F=soap

its very basic and wat not, but simplicity is soemtimes the best. feel free to click the order button and wat not. Im just tryin o do what i can for the movie and the movement. Thanks

Thomas

I just wanted to say that I thought the story was great, funny and it made me giggle.

And just by the by, I don’t believe that Ms. Snakey has any idea about Montessori (among other things.) I actually am a Montessori teacher and your comment about us viewing the parents as “oppressors” would have made me laugh, had I not found it so uniformed and ridiculous.
Those apparently goose-stepping parents of yours are absolutely integral to the montessori system of education. If I felt oppressed by my parents of my students I would be in the wrong job.
I think you just googled “maria montessori,” read a biography and a couple of other pages and then regurgitated it here.

And in closing, I am a woman, but I happen to agree with the gentleman who suggested you had pms. You couldn’t be this irritating 24 hours a day, 365 days a year could you?

Oops, sorry, I meant “…by THE parents of my students…” :)

lulu_j thank you. Not only are you creditable and knowledgable, but your heart is also in the right place. Of course the children should hear the story. Would you want your child to grow up not knowing basic math?NO! So why would u want you r child to grow up not hearign the story of an epic hero kicking ass against snakes? Do you want to ban the “Odyssey” from high schools nationwide too? Or do you just liek to take small children’s happiness away, Ms. Snakey?

My students are actually in the process of creating their own version of a SOAP film. Their’s will be entitled “Gorillas In A School”.

Gorillas in a School!!! I’m hoping that the soundtrack will be a pure armpit opus! :)

We finished filming Gorillas In A School today. We will go into editing this weekend and hopefully get this new gory film posted early next week!

Alright all you avid fans of crazy kindergarten antics, my student’s new film “Gorillas in a School” has been sent to Snakesonablog

Hooray! When does “Gorillas in a School 2 - The Reckoning,” get released?

Wow, Noice song and story! If I had children they would be told this story, but I guess I’ll just have to wait until I do.

Ps. Texas isn’t that bad. :P

just for everyones info. We are waiting for video.google to accept the film. We had a link but had to change it because of a typo in the video…DAMN kindergartners and their spelling! When we receive acceptance Matt will send it again to Brian! Gorillas in a School is the a great sequel!

[...] Matt Barr has put out quite a collection of Snakes on a Plane items. He wrote a song, he took the famous kindergartner pictures, he entered a contest, he created Snakes on a Home Birth and now he’s completed what I assume to be his final project before the release of the film. He, along with his class, have filmed: [...]

Lulu J, and everyone else, “The Reckoning” will be out around August 29th. I have to wait until the school year begins to start filming.

Shit.. I should call my congressman . All those first aide kits with “religious” symbols with “too scarry” snakes.

It always amazes me how people in the 110 range IQ will toute how damn smart they are and must freak out over petty shit. Get a clue already.

Anyone else notice that these kids didn’t dress like a whore or Britney? Any one have a 2pac shirt on?

Go teacher!

PS to the people who correct english, this makes you look stupid. One this is the internet, not a press release; two some people think in differnet ways. I have a fairly high Iq and well english ( my only language) I can not speel, write correctly, and yet I manage to design software, vet major business deals, and eat CEO’s for lunch (i recomend catch-up).

wud up people my name is deannette in i hate snakes on plane

what is that last comment about? Does Deanette hate SOAP the movie, idea, or both? Are they in a movie called “I hate Snakes on a Plane”? Deanette, can you elaborate?

I think teachers shouldn’t be the ones to go to decide how far to push the envelope on what kids hear. Again, after reading Matt’s posts, I have no doubt his heart is in the right place, but I can also tell you, if he was my kid’s teacher, at the first whiff of SoaP in the classroom, I’d probably have taken him aside and say, “Hey Matt - y’know, would you mind not going there? I know it’s an awesome movie, and personally I’m on the SoaBlog more often than I admit, but I’ve already made a conscious choice at home not to tell my kids about the wonder and beauty that is SoaP, so I’d prefer that you not do so here, ‘kay?” And since Matt sounds like a good guy and a reasonable guy, I have a feeling he’d respect my wishes as a parent, maybe after he and I had a good discussion about what he planned to be up to.

2+2=4

xtydvghfxhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhxfffffghgbf hi i like pie yes oh yes

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… ……………………………………………………………..

Matthew, if your child was in my class, and if after you listened to my reasoning you did not agree, I would surely take SOAP out of my lesson plans. However, all the parents agreed with my plans so we went forward. It’s hard for people to fully grasp what was going on in my classroom during the SOAP phenom. but I assure you it was far more educational than damaging. Their SOAP experience was not only about education. The director of SOAP sent them a signed poster with all their names on it ( if any of the doubters could’ve seen their faces when the poster was shown to them…this would be a different debate), he talks about them on the dvd, my students helped write a song that had 400 votes on tagworld, they wrote their own songs that were put on SOAB, They were published in a book (the guide to internet sssssensation), etc. They didn’t just hear a tale about reptiles on a plane…infact they gained more than any critic can phathom. They enveloped accomplishment, creativity, knowledge, and pride….mainly pride and accomplishment. Along the way they leaned about reptiles, airplanes, movie tricks, and a plethora of other stuff. Has anyone critiquing this debate ever witnessed a child going to Barnes and Noble and seeing themselves in a published book? Children need math, yes, but they need esteem too.

hmmm